Daddy, I’m sorry. I’m sorry to not be able to look at you without thinking of him, I’m sorry to not be able to be more for you. You told me you wanted a little girl, a sub and a lover. You said I was yours ‘cause I accepted to give myself to you without asking any questions.  You knew how to talk to me. How to order me around. How to punish me. I love being punished, I don’t know why. I love giving another person the right to hurt me physically, to push my boundaries and learn to accept my punishment.  You came to my place, really late (wanted me to wait for you) and kissed me as soon as you entered the apartment. You asked me to put on a dress without underwear and some socks before you arrived. I did it because I wanted you to find me sexy. You did I guess. You put me on my knees and told me to close my eyes. You took something from your back and attached my hands with it. You took another one and put it on my eyes. You didn’t want me to see you for now. It was my punishment because I was too curious. You put your dick in my mouth and told me to suck it a little. Then took me to my room and spanked me. So hard. I loved your hands. So much.  You have really big, strong hands. I love that. And it’s perfect for spanking. I hoped that you’d leave a mark on my ass for me to remember you… but you didn’t.  We played a lot, fucked a little. You slept at my place, with me, cuddling and all. Was fun to have a guy cuddling with me after all that, I really liked it. You even took interest in my life and my son and everything. You were really sweet. But at one time I looked at you and I saw the father of my child. I swear for a moment I was sure it was him, that I was in his arms again. I felt so good but at the same time it was really scary. It was not good at all for my head. All this work I did to get him out of my head destroyed in 30 seconds. I decided at this moment to never see you again, but didn’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry.  I told you this same day tho. By text. Cause I’m a jerk and I don’t know how to be a good person. I explained it to you. You weren’t eve mad,  ‘cause you’re the sweetest guy ever. When you left this day, you gave me a cork, telling me to use it like a butt plug. It was king of a joke, cause I told you I wanted a butt plug but at the same time I hate anal sex so much. I still have this cork. Didn’t use it for my butt and wont… but I wrote a big A on it and kept it. To remember you.  Don’t really know why, but you changed a little something in me, you woke up something that I want to work on. Thank you.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s